Clean Day
The older I get...
There is a shred of dread in me as I realize, the upcoming Friday is a clean day. I wish I were thrilled and didn’t bemoan in the least. But today I grumbled a little. Really though…how many years have I been tidying up this home? Forty that’s how many. Forty forking years! This house has three levels and is not an easy clean for anyone, let alone someone of my… medium’ly advanced years. But I do love this abode we’ve called home, all three floors, the entirety of these four decades, so I’m not complaining necessarily, just less than thrilled on longer than normal clean days that’s all.
There was a time. A time when finances were not as big of an issue. During this period I hired a person to help me with household chores. It gave relief when I was working for Raw, caring for Zach and my mom. I loved this luxury. Then there came another time. A stint where finances were not so flush, if you know what I mean and I had to slash my spending by almost half. That one comfort (help with cleaning) wasn’t that big of a hit, but we had to cut so there it went. I felt sadness at letting my friend and her son go because then this necessary evil also made their finances harder. It was a difficult situation. But we all come to a point in our lives where hard decisions must be made and followed through with. I’ve resigned to the fact, I will be at this “clean day” thing till I die.
Today, when I first awoke I felt bright and happy, until I rolled over, grabbed my pillow and realized this was my every other week clean day. Ugh! But first coffee and that brought a smile along with the ugh.
I’d checked some prep off my list yesterday, so there wasn’t so much scrubbing to do in one day. That helps ease some of the angst, as I get overwhelmed easily if there is too big of a task in front of me (which is why I keep up on my house work). If I let my house go and things pile up (it’s too big of a job) I’m face planted up against the proverbial wall.
Working three days a week (I know, not full time) leaves only a sliver of time for the things I love most after household duties. But on those in-between weeks (I love those in-between weeks) I am able to splurge and either sit and write, or read, maybe go to town for a coffee and a walk about. Letting the house go will only happen if I’m sick, on vacation or dead. But hey, I am still able, I woke up this morning, so whats all the fuss about? Well, some days I just don’t want to do it, that’s what.
The sun was shining brightly, which on clean day can be a plus, or a minus depending on how you look at it. My eyesight isn’t as sharp as it once was, so the brilliance coming through our passive-solar, south-facing-nearly-all-glass-wall began to highlight some areas I’d slacked in (not on purpose). Cobwebs and smudges are harder for me to see (make eye appointment☑️). With the sun emphasizing these areas (and I just can’t let it go), I had to fix all of my lapses on former clean days where eyesight was dim and the sun wasn’t shining. But goodness it took me forever to finish this tedious brilliantly lit chore. I am pleased I did that prep yesterday, or I’d still be at it.
Realizing I needed to see more clearly in areas of the house that aren’t so well lit, I promptly put on my reading glasses as I began to clean the bathrooms. Goodness this one step probably added an hour to the duration of my sunlit sprucing (note to self, don’t wear glasses while cleaning). So many areas I either rush through, or just don’t see (maybe on purpose). I’m okay with that. Now I won’t have to do those things like cobwebs and dusting all the cornices (tedium in my opinion) for another few weeks. So, as hard as it is for me to wrap my head around one of these big clean days, the giddiness I feel about an upcoming easier tidy-up is worth that one hard day per month.
I immediately went to an allegory as I am prone to do. Standing at my kitchen sink as the sun shown through, I was able to see all the mineral build up around the faucet, the splatters on the bay window and the cobwebs hanging from the ceiling, I Imagined my inward house. I slowed my cleaning for a moment and allowed these thoughts to hit their mark (Spirit is continually speaking, but am I listening?). My temple, that inner sanctuary that we are all blessed with, is always well lit (thanks be to the Son). But an astute look-see is needed. Distraction will kill us. I am not sure we are aware how spacious and grand our spirit spots are. It would be unwise to dismiss where our Guide has pointed the laser.
Pure Joy is; I will never have to let this Helper go; This Help costs nothing, and said He would never leave me or forsake me. Talk about a luxury! Spirit, our Inner Counselor and house keeper will always shine brightly, no dark days. Revelation is perpetually at our disposal.
In my soul, the big dirt may be cleaned up (or not), but what about the little stuff? In these latter years, there seems be a lot of areas I’ve not seen. I may need some spiritual cataract removal or prescription glasses.
What about those hazy areas I didn’t relinquish because, I thought they weren’t that distorting, or I simply overlook them because it was just too little or to big a job?
Recommendation, don’t let things build up. Do regular cleanings. No one wants a spiritual face plant.
In my eyes I may think I’m doing well until something unhinges me then I ascertain, these aren’t merely personality quirks, these are mostly murky or blind areas that oppose the work and character of my Teacher and Helper (the one Being I want to emulate). I may need to do some prep work. I am asked to “work out my own salvation”. Salvation may be free, but it isn’t “one prayer and done” as I was taught in Sunday school. This exercise will take a lifetime, however long or short that is. This working out of one’s own soul restoring and redemption is not easy. It is a verb. I need to do some meditation, or cleaning out every day so it makes light work and the overwhelm doesn’t hit. Just like cleaning a house, it will never be done. Things must be redone, unpleasantness looked at over and over and that, regularly. The less we have, the easier the clean. I need to let that sink in.
I quickly went to the past few months when I’ve miss-stepped, or been spiritually lazy and I realized something. This something made me exceedingly cheerful. The longer I walk this road of betterment and redemption, the more the light shines into those shady areas, the more I become aware of the benefits of cleaning house quickly as well as the beauty and necessity of Grace.
There are still areas that I need to open to the light. As mentioned, I am now quicker to note attitudes or ideals that aren’t…well, ideal (insert upside down emoticon). Sometimes it is bigger, I may need to open the door wide to an entire room I’ve closed off for my own pleasure and comfort (these little pests, are just that, they will gnaw away at my soul till I am nothing but a shell. I’ve been there feeling empty and desolate).
But now there are more times than not that I employ my spiritual stop sign “I am not going there.” That’s it. I love how simple it is when I practice these modest yet efficient steps. And when I don’t…oh the bounty and unspeakable appreciation for Grace.
This is a sacred adventure as big as the cosmos (my inner sanctum), that only my Creator and I hike through. This part of me that lives on forever is not a wisp like the body, it is the most real thing in the universe. He works with billions of other humans and lord knows what, or who else on whatever planet or in whatever cosmos we are oblivious to, why take the time for little old me? You may be on a similar sacred trek. The longer I am alive and awake, the more I see what a beautiful journey He and I are on.
In reality, speaking only for myself here, I think I am fearful I will become a smaller version of myself if I let go of some personal asymmetry that I’ve held dear, and yet, the reality is quite the opposite. When I turn from the imbalance, or these little dears that are not dear at all, and walk in the opposing direction, mysteriously my soul experiences an Equalizing, we are now standing taller, stronger. We’ve won ground. We are not stagnant, we are growing, our roots running deeper. Quite the dichotomy. I let go of filth, Spirit rewards with…mostly inarticulate, incomprehensible things, but I’ll call it an inward brawn.
Trust me, I’ve been spiritually blind, or apathetic to certain personal traits that “aren’t that bad” and these little flaws grow a large colony in two shakes of a lambs tail. I feel the gnawing. They will be irritants until dealt with. When I soften my spiritual eyes (I can eye roll with the best of them) and look straight on at what needs to go, this causes an emancipation (I don’t know where this stuff goes, but who cares). Fundamental. Were not flirting with sin here…this is a must go situation. I already know what to do, but practice is required and sometimes it is as humble as sitting quietly with my cuppa whatever, no words, no doing, just quietly listening, I allow, accept and attend.
The beautiful thing about the sunshine, it has the ability to give power, to disinfect, to heal disease, create and grow good things and help those depressed in heart to lift their heads and move on as their way is lit; it gives life to all manner of spiritual seeds and all without any coercion at all. The sun does all this splendorous work by simply doing what it was created to do…shine.
So, this one short post is to help me remember this cleaning day in the brightest light we’ve had in a while. Open up and…Let The Son Shine In.
And to help us all:
Until Next Time
Marmie Karen 😍